Mark Milley was immediately fired after an explosive report revealed the General tipped off a D.C. area girl scout troop that Joe Biden was on his way. “At dawn, I want him shot, hung, sniffed, misgendered, and hung,” a stern Biden said, boiling with rage. “In my two hundred years of public service, I’ve never…
Category: Biden
DeSantis Instructs Florida Companies To Fire All Biden Voters To Get Under 100 Employee Threshold
Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis does not agree with Joe Biden’s mandate which demands all businesses with more than 100 employees drain the blood of their staff and refill their bodies with pure Pfizer vaccine. But DeSantis may have a work-around up his sleeve. “Obviously, it’s Florida policy to never listen to the criminally insane, but if…
Biden Lays Out Generous Jobs Program For Lawyers
In a rather odd way, fictional President Joe Biden laid out a generous jobs program for lawyers Thursday night. “Listen here, fat. In the coming days, I’m gonna put y’all back in chains. Got it?” Biden said in an effort to get the attention of the legal community. Then, to make it crystal clear he was attempting…
Biden: ‘I Don’t Care How Many Families I Have To Drone, I Will Look Tough!’
Ever since ISIS landed their big sponsorship deal with Kellogg’s cereal, ‘ISIS-K’ has been acting super cocky. It’s making our fictional president look weak and he’s had enough. So two weeks ago Joe Biden decided to endear himself to the compassionate left-wing by randomly blowing up an innocent family. “My poll numbers are dropping faster…
Shameful: Joe Biden Leaves Dozens Of Americans Stranded In Portland
In perhaps his most heartless move to date, fictional President Joe Biden has decided to abandon roughly two dozen Americans in the savage region of Portland, Oregon. Biden’s call to officially withdraw came shortly after Portland’s bearded men and women beat down the last few police officers using only a pinecone, three house cats, and…