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Biden Lays Out Generous Jobs Program For Lawyers

Biden Lays Out Generous Jobs Program For Lawyers

In a rather odd way, fictional President Joe Biden laid out a generous jobs program for lawyers Thursday night.

“Listen here, fat. In the coming days, I’m gonna put y’all back in chains. Got it?” Biden said in an effort to get the attention of the legal community. Then, to make it crystal clear he was attempting to stimulate a jobs program for lawyers, he offered the following:

“Starting tomorrow, every American must give me their V-card. That’s right, Jack. That means businesses must mandate each employee receive 14,000 vaccinations or receive a $100 fine.”

“We don’t know what to say. They said Joe Biden was a job killer,” a Florida lawyer said filled with emotion. “What he’s doing is just so blatantly unlawful, we’re sort of allowed to print our own money with this guy running the show.”

Sadly for the lawyers, illegal immigrants will not need their representation because by definition, they’ve not broken any laws.

 Update: Biden later warned businesses that fines could climb as high as $20,000 if the Taliban keeps making him look like an idiot.


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