WASHINGTON, DC — When it comes to unity, Joe Biden is on a roll. In a move that many in Washington are praising, the fictional President has offered to generously hurt the voters of Flordia. Using that classic Biden compassion, he has ordered industrial-sized fans to help Hurricane Ian become even more deadly. “If these…
Category: Biden
With Corn Pop Defeated, Biden Vows To Conquer Count Chocula
WASHINGTON, DC –In a rousing speech, fictional President, Joe Biden reminded the nation it was he who toppled Corn Pop. Then the highest ranking dementia patient raised the stakes. “As Presidufratua, I GUARANTEE my administration will finally get Count Chocula too!” Biden yelled into the microphone causing all nine people to erupt in applause. “It’s…
Biden Blasts MAGA's America: ‘We Got No Food, We Got No Jobs, Our Pets' Heads Are Falling Off!’
PHILADELPHIA, PA– Joe Biden could no longer contain his wrath concerning MAGA-run red states. While speaking in hell, Joe Biden was handed the latest economic numbers. “Oh, that’s it,” Joe said while turning his head away from the paper in disgust. “I’ve had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets’…
Biden Calls Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-Like’, Reflexively Gives Him $82 Billion In Military Equipment
WASHINGTON, DC — Barack Obama’s greatest skill as President was showering the Taliban with riches. But over the years, it seems someone with beady little eyes was watching his every move. That is why shortly after Joe Biden called Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-like’ on his national address titled, Hitler? I Hardly Know Her, the fictional president impulsively sent $82 billion worth…
Hunter Biden Inadvertently Arms Ukraine By Leaving Numerous Guns Laying Around The Country
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Ukrainians are finding hundreds of Hunter Biden’s discarded weapons strewn about the frozen terrain—a telltale sign the president’s son had been there. “As always, this administration was wise enough to plan ahead,” Karine Jean-Pierre proudly said, finally able to paint one of Hunter’s war crimes in a positive light. “Because of the way…