PORTLAND, OR — Pet adoption centers in the Portland area are now encouraging pet owners to trade in their rich, white pets for a more racially sensitive black pet.   The plan, according to city officials, is to eradicate these horrible, racist animals from the state completely. “For the last nine years he’s been my best…

D.C — It’s been a rough few weeks for Washington’s walking bottle of Grey Goose.  In what may have been a mistake, Nancy Pelosi demanded Pfizer make her booster shot ‘dirty, with two olives.’ The ex-Speaker of the House made the remark following the press congratulating her for losing every single House seat in the…

JUPITER, FL– It’s been revealed that the whole crew over at The Babylon Bee flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet eleven times. We also know that humor-loving conservatives simply cannot stand for that. So now what? Before we dive into your options on where to find other right-wing satire (spoiler alert: there aren’t any), let’s first review…