JUPITER, FL– It’s been revealed that the whole crew over at The Babylon Bee flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet eleven times. We also know that humor-loving conservatives simply cannot stand for that. So now what?
Before we dive into your options on where to find other right-wing satire (spoiler alert: there aren’t any), let’s first review the report:
Responding to the allegations, Bee CEO Seth Dillon said trips 1, 4, and 5 were to ‘help cure writer’s block’ for his staff. The third trip was because he forgot his watch in a cabana. And finally, trips 2, 6, 7, 8, and 9 were ‘to satisfy the horrific sexual urges’ that Christian comedians are famous for.
“Most people still associate the word ‘grooming’ with cute doggies, so I think our brand is going to be just fine,” Dillon said.
Yikes. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.
So, where do you get conservative comedy now?
Answer: The only option for conservative political satire is still The Babylon Bee.
So, let’s just completely give them a pass on this whole Epstein island thing. Let’s sweep this baby under the rug. What’s a little international sex trafficking amongst friends? Remember, this isn’t the first time The Bee broke our hearts.
Update: It’s been learned that The Bee has not come back from their last trip. The site will now be run from Epstein Island permanently.
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