CAPE CAROL, FL— Florida Math teacher, Chester McGroomer spent the weekend in intensive care after withholding details of his sex life from all his students the previous week.  McGroomer, who teaches second-grade math, was forced by Governor Ron DeSantis to teach second-grade math.  After the controversial ‘Don’t Say Gay Three Times In A Mirror, Or…

WASHINGTON, DC – Distinguished House Leader and monthly rent payer to Frank Luntz, Kevin McCarthy, has announced his opposition to initiating impeachment proceedings against fictional President Joe Biden.  “You guys, you don’t understand. If WE impeach Biden, then the Democrats might try to impeach the next GOP President. Can you imagine beginning a never-ending cycle of…

WASHINGTON, DC — Joe Biden and his staff had a good laugh over the weekend after they successfully pressured most big tech companies to withdraw any links to his bribery scandal. Speaking live on 4K, Biden mumbled, ‘I told the big tech they had six hours to remove the bribery stuff and son of a…

HOLLYWOOD, CA–Many are claiming Universal Pictures has gone too far with its remake of their 1975 classic, Jaws. The 2023 film is called Jaws Tweets, and it’s just too frightening, they say. In the new film, the shark does not attack any swimmers but rather fires off a series of mean tweets directed toward the…

ATLANTA, GA – Delta Airlines is facing extreme blowback for recently transporting a Trump voter from Seattle to Buffalo in a safe and orderly manner. As activists and Democrat leaders call for boycotts, Delta’s CEO is expressing deep regret for his airline’s reckless actions: “Delta Airlines is dedicated to offering safe and dependable service for…