It was a close call for Tiger Woods Tuesday after the toxic Donald Trump openly wished him well. While not ultimately fatal, it was still devastating news for the world-renowned golfer. “He’s lucky to be alive,” Anderson Cooper said after the news broke. “Trump was clearly trying to destroy him by making people believe they…
Category: Trump
Democrats Furious Disney+ Placed the Impeachment Hearings Under “Fairy Tale” Section
When it was learned that Disney+ decided to stream the impeachment hearings under the “Fairy Tale” category, many Democrats were understandably outraged. “I guess Disney thinks us trying to save our DEMOCRACY is a BIG JOKE!” screamed Eric Swalwell while running into The Capitol Building before the media could see him cry. Adding to the…
For Trump Support, Tom Brady’s Bucs To Begin Super Bowl With 15-Yard Penalty
Tom Brady’s unwillingness to mock and whine about the 45th President has formally been recognized as Trump support. For this, he must pay. The NFL made the brave decision after corporate sponsors threatened not to give them some of their money. “Tom really crossed the line this time,” Rodger Goodell said. “Maybe he’s friends with…
Trump Reclaims White House Using Eminent Domain
Well, that was fast. Using some clever court filings, Donald Trump was able to immediately reclaim the White House using eminent domain. As construction for “Trump Tower Swamp” begins, some MAGA hat-wearing city planners agreed that the White House property makes the most sense for a parking structure. The tower will be directly in front…
Republicans Trade Second Amendment For Chance To Remain On Social Media
In a stunning compromise, the GOP has surrendered America’s right to bear arms for a chance to remain on Twitter and Facebook. President Trump inked the deal on Friday and all guns will be rounded up early next week. “Yeah, I mean… sometimes you have to take the best deal on the table,” remarked President…