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Tiger Woods ‘Lucky To Be Alive’ After Trump Wishes Him Well, Media Says

Tiger Woods ‘Lucky To Be Alive’ After Trump Wishes Him Well, Media Says

It was a close call for Tiger Woods Tuesday after the toxic Donald Trump openly wished him well.  While not ultimately fatal, it was still devastating news for the world-renowned golfer. 

“He’s lucky to be alive,” Anderson Cooper said after the news broke.  “Trump was clearly trying to destroy him by making people believe they were friends.  He did the same with Tom Brady and ever since, life’s only been a series of devastating failures for Tom.” 

Tiger, who has been promptly dismissed from the PGA Tour, has been asking the media to cover the fact that he was involved in a ‘very serious accident.’

“But was it truly an accident?” Cooper asked a CNN panel of guests.  “Can being liked by the horrible one be an accident?  I think, if you’re Tiger you do the honorable thing and fall into a deep spiral of depression over this.”

Woods finally released a short video explaining how the real story should be that he had broken both femurs, his left tibia, and how the car that hit him was a high Hunter Biden driving on the wrong side of the road.

However, Tiger became even more annoyed when the front page of the Washington Post was an op-ed titled “Tiger’s Broken Femurs And Shattered Tibia Is Nothing Compared To The Pain Trump’s Nice Words Brought.”