There wasn’t a dry eye in Detroit Friday night after LeBron James spent the game whacking the Piston players with a skateboard as a tribute to his fallen heroes in Kenosha. Hours before tipoff, the NBA formally announced James would be allowed to wield the object as a weapon citing that, “All red-blooded American sports fans…
Category: Sports News
LeBron: ‘Now We Need To Worry About Getting Shot Every Time We Try To Kill Someone?’
As Americans desperately wait for the results of Joe Biden’s colonoscopy, citizens everywhere turn to famed basketball dribbler, and distinguished high school graduate, LeBron James for comment on the Rittenhouse verdict. Following an exhausting Lakers practice (Where they instilled their new defense strategy called “hands up, don’t shoot”), James issued some profound commentary on the…
NBA To Require Players Receive Booster Shots In Between Free Throws
The NBA has informed all teams that each player shall receive a COVID booster shot in between free throws regardless of their vaccination history. “We want every opportunity to put that sweet, magical, experimental vaccine juice in them as publically as possible,” Commissioner, Adam Silver said. “Their bodies, our choice, right? But anyway, this pandemic is so serious, we’ve…
Unvaccinated NBA Player Now Refuses To Talk To Any Reporter With A Higher Body Fat % Than Him
Orlando Magic forward, Jonathan Isaac has informed all NBA media members that they will need to have a body fat percentage of 2.9% or lower to speak with him. Since obesity is the number one factor in COVID deaths, Isaac feels their decision to be fat will put him and his family at risk. “I’ve made the…
WNBA Game Features All No-Look Passes After No One Watches Game
For the first time in professional basketball history, The WNBA now proudly owns the only game in which 100% of the passes were of the no-look nature. This was due to not a single soul seeing a moment of action. During Sunday night’s game between the Palmdale Platypuses and the Wichita Wildebeests, WNBA officials noticed that not a…