ANAHEIM, CA, –Since Disneyland reopened, the theme park staff has noticed a bewildering pattern of liberal democrats lining up for defective rides. “Ok, folks, this is the fourth time we’ve been over this,” a Disneyland employee yelled to the flock. “You can clearly see the Matterhorn doesn’t work, right? Aren’t you all curious why nothing…
Category: Pop Culture
Hollywood Threatens To Suspend All Acts Of Pedophilia Until Rittenhouse Verdict Overturned
Seeing the act of self-defense upheld in Wisconsin was a tough blow for all of us. But our Hollywood elites are even more grief-stricken to see fellow pedophile, Joseph Rosenbaum gunned down in his prime. So they’re doing something about it. Reportedly, if the Wisconsin jurists do not reverse their decision on Kyle Rittenhouse, each and…
Stevie Wonder Canceled For Saying, "I Don't See Color"
Cancel culture claimed its latest victim yesterday when a hot mic caught Stevie Wonder during a commercial shoot for Pepsi. While a young assistant was delivering coffee to Wonder, she stumbled and said, “I spilled coffee on my red blouse!” Then Wonder sealed his fate by uttering the most insensitive, racist remark since Joe Biden’s…
Report: Daily Wire Hosts To Star In Entourage Reboot
Nashville, TN– Using the money designated for Michael Knowles’ salary, the Daily Wire has purchased the rights to HBO’s hit comedy-drama, Entourage. The conservative media company immediately began production on a reboot, but this time, the hosts will star. “HBO made a big mistake. If absolutely anything gets canceled, I will buy it immediately,”…
CDC Accidentally Used ‘Which Friends Character Are You?’ Test To Determine COVID Positivity Rate
On Monday CDC director, Rochelle Walensky admitted that all hospitals and pharmacies used the ‘Which Friends character are you?’ test to determine whether a person had contracted COVID-19. All Monicas, Chandlers, Rosses, and Pheobes were positive. Joeys and Rachels were negative, and any Gunthers were given a bleach IV drip. In New York, it was learned that all Chandlers…