Nashville, TN– Using the money designated for Michael Knowles’ salary, the Daily Wire has purchased the rights to HBO’s hit comedy-drama, Entourage. The conservative media company immediately began production on a reboot, but this time, the hosts will star.
“HBO made a big mistake. If absolutely anything gets canceled, I will buy it immediately,” Shapiro told The Hollywood Reporter. “I heard Sea World is considering canceling their Orca show. I’ve already told Shamu I’m preparing a tank in Nashville.”
The Entourage reboot will follow struggling actor, Vincent Chase, played by struggling actor, Michael Knowles and his rag-tag group of right-wing radicals. In this conservative-friendly version, Vincent struggles to land Hollywood roles while Shapiro and Jeremy Boreing keep buying all the productions and moving them to Tennessee.
Also, in the series, balding father figure Andrew Klavan will play Vincent’s older brother, Johnny “Drama.”
“In the original series ‘Drama’ was an older, overly sexual creep who constantly offered horribly outdated life advice,” Boering explained. “So we told Klavan, for this role–change nothing.”
Rounding out the entourage is “Turtle,” played by Matt Walsh. Initial reports were that Walsh refused to participate in the series, but after he gained 50 pounds for the role, Daily Wire producers were thrilled to see his change of heart.
“I didn’t gain all this weight for the part,” Walsh later informed in his monotone way. “I’m depressed. I hate all turtles. Turtles are canceled.”
Finally (because he’s already considered the Jeremy Piven within conservative media), the god-king, Jeremy Boreing will portray Ari “Birch” Gold.
“I know I’ll do a good job playing Ari,” Boering said. “I routinely call people I look down upon ‘bitch,’ and I got really good at throwing my cell phone against the wall while producing Knowles’ show.”
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