Minutes after Congress made the prudent decision to give Pakistan $25 million for gender studies, CNN’s Brian Stelter was packing his bags. “I heard they’re going to be assigning genders and I just really need to be there for that,” Stelter said. “Can’t miss this opportunity.” As Washington elites pointed out, it costs around $25…
Category: Media & Tech
Poll: Nurses Who Did Annoying TikTok Videos Should Receive Vaccine First
Looks like the American people are once again demonstrating their warmth and generosity. A new poll shows that a whopping 97% of them agree that the nurses who did those ‘annoying TikTok videos’ should receive the COVID vaccines first. “Oh, by all means, let’s give it to those nurses who were apparently so overloaded with…
Andrew Cuomo Quickly Releases Book On How He Never Sexually Abused Staff
One day after Andrew Cuomo was accused of sexually assaulting 216 people, the governor somehow announced the release of his book, Above Reproach: How To Never Be Accused Of Sexual Assault. “Cuomo’s latest gem will masterfully explain how he shouldn’t ever be accused of assaulting women. He keeps his female staffers as safe, if not…
Yelp Asks Carl Bernstein To Stop Rating Everything As ‘Worse Than Watergate’
After several warnings, Yelp.com has now suspended Carl Bernstein from their platform after the hack journalist continued to rate everything as “worse than Watergate.” The final straw came after Bernstein gave one-star reviews to Shriners Hospital, Buffalo Wild Wings, and the United States Pentagon all in one day. Additionally, he wrote, “worse than Watergate” for…
Fox News Claims ‘Burst Pipe’ Caused Them To Stop Reporting Honest News
The Fox News Channel is now claiming they have been forced to stop reporting honest news after a pipe burst in their New York headquarters. As of yet, no plumbing issue has been found, but the network is sure it’s somewhere in the building. Lurking. “We saw this in the Atlanta Arena on election night,…