Minutes after Congress made the prudent decision to give Pakistan $25 million for gender studies, CNN’s Brian Stelter was packing his bags.
“I heard they’re going to be assigning genders and I just really need to be there for that,” Stelter said. “Can’t miss this opportunity.”
As Washington elites pointed out, it costs around $25 million for a nation to properly determine the gender of its citizens.
“In a perfect world, there’d be some physical clue of gender visible at birth. Like a birthmark or like a huge outie belly button or something,” Brian Stelter said. “During high school, you’re flying blind. And even in your mid-thirties, you can’t be sure of your gender. One day I’m pretty sure I’m male, the next day I get a text from Hannity which convinces me otherwise. So that’s why this aid from Democrats is so necessary.”
Before Stelter could retrieve his bag at the foreign airport, over a dozen locals helped him with his gender by calling him the Pakistani translation for “Miss Piggy.”
“Wow. US tax dollars at work!” a thankful Stelter said. “I guess Hannity was right on this one.”