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Brian Stelter Makes Quick Trip To Pakistan Before They Assign All The Genders

Brian Stelter Makes Quick Trip To Pakistan Before They Assign All The Genders

Minutes after Congress made the prudent decision to give Pakistan $25 million for gender studies, CNN’s Brian Stelter was packing his bags.

“I heard they’re going to be assigning genders and I just really need to be there for that,” Stelter said.  “Can’t miss this opportunity.”

As Washington elites pointed out, it costs around $25 million for a nation to properly determine the gender of its citizens. 

“In a perfect world, there’d be some physical clue of gender visible at birth.  Like a birthmark or like a huge outie belly button or something,” Brian Stelter said.  “During high school, you’re flying blind.  And even in your mid-thirties, you can’t be sure of your gender.  One day I’m pretty sure I’m male, the next day I get a text from Hannity which convinces me otherwise.  So that’s why this aid from Democrats is so necessary.” 

Before Stelter could retrieve his bag at the foreign airport, over a dozen locals helped him with his gender by calling him the Pakistani translation for “Miss Piggy.”

“Wow.  US tax dollars at work!” a thankful Stelter said.  “I guess Hannity was right on this one.”