Criminals Now Quickly Registering as Democrats To Avoid Any Investigation

Criminals Now Quickly Registering as Democrats To Avoid Any Investigation

ISABEL, IL –As everyone knows, if you’re a democrat pondering to run against a Republican—in particular, Donald Trump, you have immunity from all crimes and even the investigation of any criminal acts. Because of this, all of the nation’s criminals are now quickly registering as Democratic presidential candidates before any investigation can begin. Since this…

Capitol Police Accidentally All Shoot Each Other While Trying To Conduct 21-Gun Salute

Capitol Police Accidentally All Shoot Each Other While Trying To Conduct 21-Gun Salute

WASHINGTON, DC –In yet another embarrassing display of incompetence, the Capitol Police squad accidentally all shot each other while trying to conduct a 21-gun salute during the January 6th special TV event. Apparently, two groups of Capitol Police faced each other and fired their rifles directly forward. Lieutenant Michael Byrd, the man famous for shooting innocent…