Gang leader turned failed presidential candidate, Andrew Yang, is calling for a way people can provide proof that they have been vaccinated for COVID-19. “We’ve already done the hard part by imprisoning everyone. So like, can’t we get the people who’ve already been vaccinated to wear one of those identifying patches the Germans used?” Yang…
Category: Law
Andrew Cuomo Quickly Releases Book On How He Never Sexually Abused Staff
One day after Andrew Cuomo was accused of sexually assaulting 216 people, the governor somehow announced the release of his book, Above Reproach: How To Never Be Accused Of Sexual Assault. “Cuomo’s latest gem will masterfully explain how he shouldn’t ever be accused of assaulting women. He keeps his female staffers as safe, if not…
‘Leave My Home Alone!’ Trump Sets Traps As Criminals Attempt Break-In
After everybody abandoned Donald Trump, the crafty billionaire was left all alone to defend his White House. After casing the joint for several years, two ugly criminals finally attempted to break-in. But the President was ready. First, Trump set-up a blowtorch over the east wing entrance of the White House. When the horrible woman tried to…
Adam Schiff Pretty Sure Rudolph Guided Sled in Exchange for Acceptance From Peers
Most Americans believed they had rid themselves of Adam Schiff and his unfounded accusations. At least for Christmas. Not so fast. Schiff and House Democrats now have reason to believe Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer entered an elaborate scheme to exchange peer acceptance for a well-lit sleigh ride. “This quid pro quo is…
Yelp Asks Carl Bernstein To Stop Rating Everything As ‘Worse Than Watergate’
After several warnings, Yelp.com has now suspended Carl Bernstein from their platform after the hack journalist continued to rate everything as “worse than Watergate.” The final straw came after Bernstein gave one-star reviews to Shriners Hospital, Buffalo Wild Wings, and the United States Pentagon all in one day. Additionally, he wrote, “worse than Watergate” for…