WASHINGTON, DC – The oversized magnifying glass that is the January 6th committee has discovered that 3/5ths of Americans are radical—and not in the cool, skateboarding way. “This is a fringe group who doesn’t properly represent what we’re all supposed to believe,” Merrick Garland told NBC News.  “No one is above the law, and we…

WASHINGTON, DC – The reaction from large, ugly women about the overturning of Roe Vs. Wade has caused the Supreme Court to issue a rare follow-up statement: “While the Court understands our ruling will cause anger from some Americans, we hereby forbid enormous, disgusting, ugly women from throwing a fit. Numerous media outlets have shown…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The homosexual community was just healing from the latest episode of This Is Us, and now this? The Supreme Court, a government body infamous for not being gay despite repeated warnings, abolished abortion last week. An aggressive attack that disproportionately targets homosexual men. “Their agenda against us is so blatant,” Dallas’ Josh McGayhee fumed. “The Supreme…

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Roe v. Wade was overturned on Friday and many believe it was because Biden’s Solicitor General was bamboozled by a particularly difficult legal question during the oral arguments. After arguing that ending abortion would disproportionately harm women, Justice Thomas asked for clarification on what a woman actually was.    “Oh, that’s easy,” the lawyer…

Baltimore, MD – Violent criminals around the nation keep hearing the chatter that a slew of new gun laws may be on the way. And their patience is thinning faster than Lori Lightfoot’s hairline.  “As criminals, it’s our job to know the laws, so we know which ones to break.  We worry we’ll become law…