Baltimore, MD – Violent criminals around the nation keep hearing the chatter that a slew of new gun laws may be on the way.
And their patience is thinning faster than Lori Lightfoot’s hairline.
“As criminals, it’s our job to know the laws, so we know which ones to break. We worry we’ll become law abiders if Congress keep dragging their feet,” Baltimore murderer Theo ‘Killa’ Murphy said. “We deserve this. Biden has ushered in so many of us it’s such a competitive industry now.”
Worries like this are becoming commonplace. In fact, in Democrat-controlled cities, many violent criminals are now under the impression that heinous crimes have been legal for years.
“I thought I was living the clean life, holmes,” a local California rapist said in shock. “I even got this polo made that says, ‘Gomez Assault & Battery Inc. Serving Los Angeles since George Gascon’s election.’”
Give Us Story Ideas