Millions of mothers are spending hours a day trying to convince their children to wear a mask. However, all that work is being erased once their kids flip on Disney+. In the nearly 800 hours of footage on the popular streaming app, only movies containing mummies have displayed proper mask use thus far. “That’s not…
Category: Health
Gavin Newsom Cancels Support For Trump Due To COVID Concerns
Californians can add ‘support for Trump’ to the long list of things that are canceled due to COVID concerns. The announcement came Sunday from Governor Gavin Newsom who moonwalked onto the stage, eager to share the news. “My fellow Califor—ya know what? We can drop the formalities at this point, right? Listen, slaves! We’ve got…
Bill De Blasio: ‘When They Go Low, We Get High’
Speaking at the Democratic convention while holding a bag of Funyuns, New York City Mayor, Bill De Blasio made a slight revision to Michelle Obama’s famous saying. “Listen up, everyone. It’s been said many times, and I’ll say it again. When they go low, we get high. Got it?” he said looking into the wrong camera. …
Democrats Reach Herd Immunity Against Common Decency
After confirming with Dr. Birx, it’s official. The entire Democrat party and its members have reached herd immunity against common decency. This achievement had been close for months but wasn’t official until last week. “When Democrats claimed Michael Avenatti was their Lord and Savior,” Birx said. “That’s when I knew. They’ve reached that rare place…
Dr. Fauci: ‘I Believe The Cleveland Browns Handled The 2019 NFL Season The Best’
Despite the data showing the Cleveland Browns played some of the worst football imaginable last year, Dr. Anthony Fauci made a surprising claim about their performance. “After carefully reviewing the data, I believe the Cleveland Browns handled the 2019 season the best,” Fauci told the media. “It was touch-and-go early, but after the dust settled…