Speaking at the Democratic convention while holding a bag of Funyuns, New York City Mayor, Bill De Blasio made a slight revision to Michelle Obama’s famous saying.
“Listen up, everyone. It’s been said many times, and I’ll say it again. When they go low, we get high. Got it?” he said looking into the wrong camera. “And you know what? Ever since Michelle said that phrase, I’ve listened. I follow this advice to the letter. Sometimes five or six times a day.”
The media, which is contractually obligated not to question a Democrat, rolled with it.
“Wise words there from a wise Mayor,” George Stephanopoulos said. “When a mean Republican hurts your feelings you just roll yourself a fat blunt. It’s a message every young child should take to heart.”
After the speech, an angry citizen corrected De Blasio, “Hey, ya Big Bird-looking pothead, you screwed up that line– like you do with everything else! It’s ‘we go high—not get high!”
A distraught De Blasio has hired his wife at $280,000 per year to investigate how he could have made this mistake.