Andrew Cuomo is being honored with another Emmy, this time for his ‘masterful’ editing. The Governor, who was given several wheelbarrows full of data showing all the people he killed, locked himself in an edit bay over the summer and went to work. “We’ve never seen editing like this,” said the Academy of Television Arts.…
Category: Health
Cuomo To Reveal True Nursing Home Death Count If We ‘Promise Not To Be Mad’
Andrew Cuomo has agreed to finally share the true nursing home death count, but there’s a catch. “You guys promise not to be mad?” the Governor asked the press in a sheepish tone. Out of the three-dozen New York reporters, two of them would not promise. So they were immediately stripped of their press privileges,…
Biden: Minority Children To Learn About Inequity When Their Schools Open In Two Years
In only two years, underprivileged black and Latino children may or may not receive education, the Biden administration said on Tuesday. “But if they do get school, we’re going to teach them all about inequity,” Jen Psaki explained. “Sure, the private schools have been teaching phonics and math for the last year, but they’re wasting…
Dr. Fauci Recommends Gargling WD-40 For Increased Jaw Mobility
In what Democrats are calling ‘just good common sense,’ Dr. Anthony Fauci has recommended Americans gargle with WD-40 to improve jaw health and mobility. “Your jaw is simply a hinge. Everyone should want that bad boy greased up real good,” Fauci told CNN. “I thought about this last week, and frankly, I’m horrified some people…
Going Back To Car To Get Mask Added To Olympic Games
The International Olympic Committee has agreed to add the rapidly growing sport of going-back-to-your-car-to-get-your-mask to the 2024 Olympic games. The sport will require participants to park a sedan thirty-five meters from a department store, mutter the F-word just before reaching for the door handle then relay back to their vehicle to retrieve their face mask. …