In what Democrats are calling ‘just good common sense,’ Dr. Anthony Fauci has recommended Americans gargle with WD-40 to improve jaw health and mobility.
“Your jaw is simply a hinge. Everyone should want that bad boy greased up real good,” Fauci told CNN. “I thought about this last week, and frankly, I’m horrified some people still aren’t doing it.”
Right on cue, Brian Stelter held up a can and explained how, because of science, he had always gargled with WD-40. But moments after demonstrating a swig, Stelter began to look more miserable than usual.
“I accidentally swallowed mine,” he quietly admitted to the brilliant doctor.
“Oh, don’t worry, Brian. The most important thing is how you blindly obeyed me. Good boy,” Fauci said. “And don’t worry, the WD-40 should just accelerate your digestive process.”
Update: Stelter’s digestive process accelerated while on-air and CNN studios had to be evacuated.
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