The folks who run Ancestry.com continue to rack up federal hate crimes by telling their customers they come from white people. By far the most heinous insult known to man. To correct this, a new option on Ancestary.com called ‘whitewash’ is available. This upgrade will remove any trace of your white lineage for an additional $89. Normally, a person’s lineage is…
Category: Family
Hunter Biden Asked To Stop Pretending To Be One Of Amy Coney Barrett’s Adopted Children
During a beautiful ceremony, which announced Amy Coney Barrett as the next Supreme Court Justice, Hunter Biden kept trying to blend into her large family in hopes they would take him in as their adopted son. Even after being asked to stop several times, Hunter repeatedly kept sneaking over to the family seating area and…
Disaster Looming? Supercuts Predicts A Terrifying Shortage Of Chairs
Should America navigate out of the coronavirus crisis, we may find ourselves in an even bigger catastrophe. “The shortage of chairs our models are forecasting will be a nightmare of biblical proportions,” Supercuts CEO, Steve Price told The Glorious American. “It’s not just that people will be standing around the strip malls waiting, it’s that…
Nightclubs Re-open, Allow One Dancer At A Time
Great news for you party animals out there. Nightclubs throughout America have re-opened their doors, but due to the coronavirus, will allow only one dancer at a time. “We think this is a great compromise,” Miami Club owner, Joe-Joe Bananas told The Glorious American. We’ve decided to open The Slippy Banana Peel so people—I mean…
Disaster Strikes Wheel Of Fortune Contestant
Kevin Randall of Atlanta, Georgia was hoping to have a fun night on his first Wheel of Fortune appearance. Instead, disaster struck as Kevin’s first spin landed on “Trip to Wuhan.” “He has to go,” Pat Sajak informed after the show. “The wheel has spoken and its wishes are to be honored. What, you think…