Pennsylvania election officials have explained that any numbers of poll watchers were able to watch the top of the Convention Center using Google Earth. “The idea that people weren’t allowed to oversee us is absurd. You could literally oversee the whole darn building with just a few clicks,” said the state’s Director of Midnight Ballot…
Category: Elections
Trump Tricks Biden Into Conceding Election In Exchange For Jelly Of The Month Club Membership
The Democrats are in a panic after President Trump convinced Joe Biden to concede the 2020 Presidential election in exchange for a one-year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. “I’m a deal maker,” Trump explained as he nestled into his oval office chair for another term. “I told him, Joe, That’s the…
Businesses Across Nation Board Up As Fears Grow A Biden Economy Would Be Too Robust To Handle
As fears grow that a Biden economy would generate too much demand, most of the nation’s businesses have decided to board up their doors and windows. With polls showing Joe Biden with a 31 point lead over President Trump, the retail sector foresees Biden’s trademark pro-business experience sweeping over America, which will eventually drown in…
Internal Polling Suggests Biden Make Quick Stop In Hawaii
As the Biden campaign outwardly prepares for their electoral landslide, internally they couldn’t be more terrified. A last-minute campaign stop in Honolulu has Democrats pooping their pants as they see Hawaii go from “Lean Biden” to “Probably Covfefe Land.” The panic began Saturday evening when the campaign received the email they were dreading: “We hope…
Media Accidentally Covers Bobulinski’s Claims After He Dresses Up As Christine Blasey Ford
Frustrated his story wasn’t being covered, Tony Bobulinski finally dressed up as Christine Blasey Ford and like clockwork, herds of media members flocked to his side. “Oh, my word! I think that’s Blasey Ford about to talk with Tucker. Wait—why Tucker?!” MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow yelled to other media members. “Don’t talk to him, Christine—Talk to…