As the Biden campaign outwardly prepares for their electoral landslide, internally they couldn’t be more terrified. A last-minute campaign stop in Honolulu has Democrats pooping their pants as they see Hawaii go from “Lean Biden” to “Probably Covfefe Land.”
The panic began Saturday evening when the campaign received the email they were dreading:
“We hope you enjoyed our blatant attempts to stifle the enthusiasm of Trump voters. However, in an effort to keep our jobs, we will now begin to make our traditional last-minute scramble towards something resembling the actual polls.
–Yours Truly, All The National Poll Companies.”
So the quest to save Hawaii’s four electoral votes got underway Sunday, and the eleven-hour flight fit nicely with Joe’s daily eleven-hour nap.
“Hello, Hawa… Hawahoot… Hello, Hootenanny!” Joe began his rally, getting off to a better start than anticipated. “Wow. It kinda looks like a bunch of Obamas around here. Anyways, please be sure you vote to send me and the camel lady to the Senate! But listen, Jack, we’ve assembled the most comprehensive voter fraud team ever, so either way.”
Update: Despite it being comfortably “solid Biden”, Joe held a lively rally in Beijing before returning home.