As the nation scrambles to learn what a short squeeze is, Joe Biden is also demanding answers. “You guys told me no one was allowed to short squeeze!” Joe was heard screaming in the oval office. “But now Robin Hood is running around squeezing the Reddit kids? You guys know how badly I wanted to…
Category: Economic
Biden: 'Coin-Operated Horsey Rides To Become Primary Source Of Transportation'
Joe Biden made headlines Friday when he explained that once his climate policies are fully enacted, the dominant source of transportation would be the coin-operated horsey ride. “Joe Biden has given this a great deal of thought. Nearly a minute,” Press Secretary Jen Psaki said. “And when you look at how clean, efficient, and frankly…
Wal-Mart Shoots Off Puzzling Tweet To Senator Josh Hawley
On Wednesday Republican Josh Hawley tweeted that he was not super thrilled that Joe Biden stole the Presidential election. Naturally, Americans sat back and waited for Wal-Mart’s response. Minutes later, the megastore came out swinging. “Sum ting wong with Josh Hawree! Bidon win! Hawree so redicurus!” their tweet read. It was an odd response that,…
IRS: We Are Not ‘All In This Together’ When It Comes To Paying Your Taxes
If Americans have learned anything in 2020, it’s that the phrase, “We’re all in this together” is a magical one that solves all your problems. Lost your business? Can’t educate your children? Grandpa’s been carried off by a swarm of murder hornets? Fear not, fellow citizen: We’re all in this together! But sadly, our friends…
Democrats: No Money Left For Americans After Payments To Dominion, ‘Big Guy’
After taking an exhaustive look at the stimulus bill, the Democrats announced that there’s simply no more money for Americans after payments to Dominion Voting Systems and someone named ‘the big guy’. “We took a fine-toothed comb through that bill. I mean, that thing is slashed to the bone,” Pelosi said on Wednesday. “We looked…