If Americans have learned anything in 2020, it’s that the phrase, “We’re all in this together” is a magical one that solves all your problems.
Lost your business?
Can’t educate your children?
Grandpa’s been carried off by a swarm of murder hornets?
Fear not, fellow citizen: We’re all in this together!
But sadly, our friends at the IRS have informed us that this one-size-fits-all saying will not be accepted when you file this year’s taxes.
“Tough s***, give us the money,” a delightful IRS agent said on a public service announcement. “When life gives you lemons, you’d better give us every last dollar due, or we come to your house with guns.”
The helpful PSA was filmed in a small studio with forty mask-less IRS agents outlining a series of physical threats should anyone try to short pay. When asked about the lack of masks and social distancing, the agents informed Americans exactly where they can shove their masks using some obscene gestures.
Update: Under the corporation-friendly Biden administration, it has been announced that large, multi-national companies have been made exempt from paying any taxes in 2020. “C’mon man, we’re all in this together,” Biden said of the change.