The all-knowing science has spoken, and it’s not good news for much of the country. It said, if you want a snowball’s chance in hell to survive a virus with a 99.6% survival rate, the Democrat-run states are going to need a bailout from the federal government. Last week, all the Democrat governors met with…
Category: Economic
Democrats Allow Small Businesses To Reopen Providing They Become Wal-Marts
If you’re a small business owner, get ready for some good news. Democrats announced today that if you can quickly convert your store into a Walmart franchise, you will be allowed to reopen. “Republicans who keep saying democrats are being unreasonable are simply lying,” Chuck Schumer said. “All these business owners have to do is…
Government Promises To Give All Our Freedoms ‘Right Back’ After Virus
“You guys pinky swear you’ll give these back, right?” That’s what Americans are asking after the government abolished their right to assemble, protest, religion, look at a tree, and free speech. “Oh yeah, are you kidding? We’re going to give those freedoms right back, probably,” Governor Gavin Newsom explained. “It’s just that this virus is…
Media: We Cannot Open Economy Until Models Show Trump Cannot Restore It
In a joint statement from NBC, CBS, CNN, and ABC, the news organizations emphatically insisted America is not quite ready to re-open the economy. “We absolutely should not, under any circumstances, re-open the economy until the models show President Trump cannot restore it,” the statement reads. “Should the economy be unleashed any time soon, a…
Report: Common Core Math Was Used For All COVID Doomsday Projections
In a stunning new report, doctors and scientists are learning the models used to destroy the world’s economy were using the hip, new common core math. It was a Houston doctor who made the discovery. “Wait a minute,” the doctor told the CDC over the phone while looking at the graph. “We’re entering May, but…