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Science: Only Cure For Virus Is Giving Democrat-Run States Federal Bailout

Science: Only Cure For Virus Is Giving Democrat-Run States Federal Bailout

The all-knowing science has spoken, and it’s not good news for much of the country.  It said, if you want a snowball’s chance in hell to survive a virus with a 99.6% survival rate, the Democrat-run states are going to need a bailout from the federal government.

Last week, all the Democrat governors met with science in a closed-door meeting.  In less than two minutes, the liberal leaders exited the room and approached the press with the results.

“We were afraid of this,” Gavin Newsom sadly said.  “Science looked us straight in our eyes and told us the cure for COVID-19.  The states need $1 trillion—give or take, from the federal government.”

“Are you serious?” a reporter asked.  “All the states get a trillion federal dollars?”

“No!” New York’s Andrew Cuomo angrily fired back.  “Not all states!  Science would never say that.  Be realistic.  It’s just…just the good states.  The virtuous ones.”

It seems science was very busy in the two-minute meeting because it also told the Democrats America must open borders, implement widespread censorship and abolish capitalism.