A disappointing day for the Biden campaign as Barrack Obama has suggested Joe Biden drop out of the presidential race. “Joe knows I love him. He knows I think he’d make an amazing President or crossing guard,” Obama told a group at a private event. “But I think the Democrats need to be trailblazers and…
Category: Breaking News
Local House Cats Marvel at Hillary’s: “I Want in the Race! —Actually, I Don’t—But Now I Do!” Routine
Sources are telling The Glorious American that house cats everywhere are marveling at Hillary Clinton’s: “I want in the race! —Actually, I don’t—But now I do!” routine. “They’ve never seen anything like it,” Doris Wilson said of her three cats: Tigger, Jasper and Max. “When Hillary’s on TV and she announces she’s entering the presidential…
IG Report: We Decided to Count “Gut Feeling” as Appropriate Grounds to Spy on Trump Campaign
The report, which determined if the FBI had proper cause to spy on the Trump presidential campaign, was due on Monday. Reports are Inspector General and infamous procrastinator, Michael Horowitz, had hardly started on the report and was seen cramming all Sunday night. Horowitz’s report concluded that while investigators had no traditional reason for spying…
Devin Nunes Looks at Legal Options After Adam Schiff Releases His Netflix Recently Watched History
Congressman Devin Nunes is exploring all legal options after Chairman Adam Schiff illegally released all the recently watched shows on his Netflix account. Most damning to Nunes was his recent viewing of Fuller House, Stranger Things and How to be a Latin Lover. Nunes was justifiably angry in the most recent hearing. “Every American should…
Nancy Pelosi Reminds Press That if Any of Them Call Her Unstable She’ll ‘Rip Their Face Off’
On Thursday Speaker Nancy Pelosi reminded the press why none of them should ever call her “unstable.” “Because I’ll literally rip YOUR FACE OFF!” Pelosi screamed as she leapt forward to strangle reporter James Rosen. Thankfully her aids caught her mid-air before she could destroy him. “You see?!” Rosen yelled back. “This is what we’re…