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Local House Cats Marvel at Hillary’s: “I Want in the Race! —Actually, I Don’t—But Now I Do!” Routine

Local House Cats Marvel at Hillary’s: “I Want in the Race! —Actually, I Don’t—But Now I Do!” Routine

Sources are telling The Glorious American that house cats everywhere are marveling at Hillary Clinton’s: “I want in the race! —Actually, I don’t—But now I do!” routine.

“They’ve never seen anything like it,” Doris Wilson said of her three cats: Tigger, Jasper and Max. “When Hillary’s on TV and she announces she’s entering the presidential race only to quickly say: ‘Oh, no. I shouldn’t’. Then, as soon as all Americans are convinced she’s out, she screeches: ‘Awe, hell—I’m in!’ All my little babies just go nuts.”

Feline behavior psychologist, Casey Ramirez, knows exactly why this fascinates cats.

“The evilest cats among us would straddle a door for hours if they could,” Ramirez explained. “The longer a cat can keep its owner in limbo, the more power the cat feels they have. What we’re seeing is Hillary Clinton has learned she is essentially standing in front of the world’s largest sliding glass door and cats are in awe of how long she’s keeping the nation’s attention.”

This will be a good sign for Democrats should Hillary run again in 2020. With cats demanding free food, their desire to sleep 16 hours a day and a preference for others to clean up their poop, every cat in America is a registered Democrat.