Another tough break for the Democrats. The Omicron variant isn’t deadly and most Americans aren’t afraid of it. To cope with the wave of depression, Joe Biden has ordered all flags be flown at half-staff. “Unfortunately, this new variant is being a total Joe Manchin and wrecking everything for us. So yes, the flags will be lowered as…
Category: Biden
Biden: ‘There Won’t Be Any Tyranny If You Just Do What I Want’
Americans who’ve noticed the deep and suffocating tyranny brought on by the Biden administration got some good news on Tuesday. “A lot of people are saying they don’t like living with the tyrannical boot of fascism on their neck. So today, I offer a poll-tested message of hope,” Joe Biden slowly read from the teleprompter. “Starting tomorrow, I can…
Joe Biden Makes History As First Openly Perverted President
When Joe Biden took the oath of office on January 20th, he did so carrying the hopes, dreams, and urges of perverts everywhere. Minutes after laying his hand on the Bible (and then unceremoniously shouting, “Should I be touching this after where my hands have been?”), Joe Biden became the first openly perverted President…
Democrats Mocked For Twitter Graph Showing Joe Biden Slightly Reduced Pooping In His Pants
Over the weekend, the DCCC was mocked for sharing a graph purporting to show a steady drop of pants pooping from Joe Biden. “This is quite a roll, @JoeBiden!” the group gleefully wrote on Twitter. But a closer look at the chart’s Y-axis shows the president only reduced his daily “incidences” from three to two. “Such a pathetic f–king graph! So…
Biden On Virginia Results: ‘Like Many Americans, I Sharted My Pants’
In a rare moment of extreme honesty, Joe Biden admitted he joined many Americans in collectively sharting their pants following Tuesday’s election results. “In began as a red wave and turned into a brown wave,” he sorrowfully said putting his head down. “I was in Air Force One when the results came in and we may as well…