Another tough break for the Democrats. The Omicron variant isn’t deadly and most Americans aren’t afraid of it. To cope with the wave of depression, Joe Biden has ordered all flags be flown at half-staff.
“Unfortunately, this new variant is being a total Joe Manchin and wrecking everything for us. So yes, the flags will be lowered as we grieve,” Jen Psaki said Thursday. “And I’m going to say something about Omicron we Democrats never say, so please brace yourselves; Omicron is being super racist right now.”
Anthony Fauci is also furious. He reportedly was heard screaming on the phone at the Wuhan Lab. “I’m looking at a receipt that says we paid for all deadly strains! This is a defective model!” he yelled. “If you’re not careful, there’s a 99.97% chance I’ll go over there and kick some ass!”
While lowering the flag was a somber moment for Joe Biden, it brought him closer to one of his goals.
“I hate that old rag. Lower it to the ground already,” Biden muttered with his arms crossed. “Someday when Hunter’s president, he says our flag poles will only be used for overweight strippers.”
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