WASHINGTON, D.C.–The White House has named Hunter Biden as point person in the administration’s effort to raise the usage of cocaine and heroin across America. Standing under a large banner he made with crayons reading: D.A.R.E. (Drugs Are Really Essential), Hunter got visibly emotional while accepting the great responsibility of distributing millions of crack pipes to…
Category: Biden
Spotify Removes Joe Biden From Office After Footage Of Him Saying N-Word Surfaces
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Welp, that’s a wrap, folks. Joseph R. Biden has officially been removed from office by the executives at Spotify. The move came after a video surfaced of the former president using the n-word in1985. “If people think democrats say inappropriate things on the Senate floor, I would simply tell them; n—–, please,” Biden said on the…
Drive-Through Installed On White House To Streamline Biden Corruption
WASHINGTON D.C.–Fictional President, Joe Biden is wasting no time paying back liberal billionaires and special interest groups who have helped him destroy America in record time. On Wednesday, the drive-through was completed on the south side of the White House, which will help streamline the transactions. Sadly for the American taxpayer, the new process is…
Peter Doocy Says Joe Biden Called Him To Say ‘My Butt’s Been Wiped’
It wasn’t the best apology, but Peter Doocy will take what he can get. Joe’s phone call to Fox’s reporter came after the president hosted a press conference centered around treating others respectfully and politely. “Alright, s–t heads, any questions?” Joe snapped to the group. “What about you, Doocy? You’re always on my ass. Why…
Biden Threatens Putin With Sending Over Thousands Of ‘Our Most Vaccinated, Pregnant, Woke, Diverse’ Soldiers
WASHINGTON, D.C.–If Vladimir Putin doesn’t shape up, Joe Biden is considering sending a few thousand of our military’s most vaccinated, pregnant, woke, diverse soldiers to Eastern Europe. Biden’s top military advisors (most of whom were former shift managers at Forever 21) warn that these elite fighters might be too much for the Russian army to…