WASHINGTON, D.C.–Welp, that’s a wrap, folks. Joseph R. Biden has officially been removed from office by the executives at Spotify. The move came after a video surfaced of the former president using the n-word in1985.
“If people think democrats say inappropriate things on the Senate floor, I would simply tell them; n—–, please,” Biden said on the Senate floor while in blackface.
“We don’t care about the $9 gas or the supply chain crisis. Those things don’t affect average Americans. Plus, we have no jurisdiction over that stuff,” Spotify CEO, Daniel Ek said. “We just jump into action when people say n—–. Oh [explicit], sorry. Can you delete that?”
Spotify has also scrubbed the internet of any speaking engagements Joe Biden has ever made that include incoherent rambling, fondling of young children, and calling his wife ‘his sister’. Currently, the only remaining video of Joe online is of him somehow managing to fall up the stairs three times.
When Biden was informed he had been removed from office, he soiled his pants earlier that day.
“Sure I said it, but I was just quoting some rap lyrics I heard on the…uuuhhh.. the record player,” Biden pleaded as secret service agents hog-tied him. As Joe was being dragged out of the Oval Office, the former president was heard yelling, “You can’t fire me–This is Hunter’s main source of income!”
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