AUSTIN, TX– Many were surprised to see Joe Biden agree to appear on the high-energy, multi-hour Joe Rogan podcast, but few were surprised to see him sleep through the entire interview. Rogan, the king of podcasts, was not his usual confident self when Biden drifted off to sleep seconds into the show. “He’s here! Holy s***,…
Category: Biden
Biden In 2020: ‘I Told Twitter They Had Six Minutes To Take Down The Story And Son Of A B----’
WASHINGTON, DC — Reminiscing with top donors yesterday, Joe Biden bragged about giving Twitter ‘six minutes’ to scrub their platforms on a story that proved he gave special access to Ukraine in exchange for Hunter’s monthly hooker and crack cocaine allowance. Twitter’s Jack Dorsey replied, “So you’re asking us to deliberately censor content from the…
Report: High Turnout Of Dog-Faced Pony Soldiers Could Spell Trouble For Dems In Midterms
WASHINGTON, DC — A new report shows that dog-faced pony soldiers are extremely motivated to vote against Joe Biden and the Democrats after he famously slandered their once pristine reputation during a 2019 town hall Q&A. “We laid low for so many years, not bothering anyone. And now, thanks to Biden, we’re a synonym for…
Morgan Freeman Will Now Narrate All Of Biden’s Words
WASHINGTON, DC — The White House has made what many are calling the wisest purchase in Democrat party history by hiring Morgan Freeman to officially narrate all of Joe Biden’s words. “I’m privileged to be the official voice of this brilliant man,” Freeman said putting his arm around Biden. “When I hear Mr. Biden talk,…
Touching: Joe Biden Offers One Of His Warm Handshakes To Deceased Congresswoman, Jackie Walorski
WASHINGTON, DC – Sometimes, Joe Biden can deliver some warm moments. Most of those instances require a pressure washer to clean up, but on Wednesday, the fictional President showed the world a different kind of warmth. “Jackie was a close friend—oh, what am I sayin’? Hell, Jackie IS a close friend! She’ll never leave us—Isn’t…