When Media Matters uncovered a 1997 radio interview of Donald Trump saying: “Snow? Oh, it’s terrific. Believe me–just terrific,” it largely went unnoticed. However, when Mitt Romney heard the clip, he sprung into action. “I think what we have here is a President who’s gone insane,” Romney softly said to a gathering of press. “Snow?…
Category: World & Weather
Sales For Mike Pompeo’s Cereal Suffer in Iran
Recent reports show sales for Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo’s cereal line to have curiously slowed. “PompeoO’s”, normally a staple on Iranians breakfast tables, are suffering record low sales in the region. “Sales have plummeted,” explained the local rep. “I can’t blame the economy because we don’t have an economy, but something’s happened. Not sure…
Marriott Asks Greta Thunberg to Stop Taking Her Boat to Speaking Engagements
Marriott Hotels has officially asked Greta Thunberg to stop arriving at their locations via boat and crashing into their buildings. Thunberg, who is on a speaking tour along the west coast, has been using Marriott conference rooms as she raises awareness for climate change. However, because cars are wicked, wicked things, Greta and her crew…
Iranian Students Refuse to Walk Over US’s Great Symbol of Pride
Some amazing photos out of Tehran are showing a large group of Iranian students refusing to walk over America’s great symbol of pride. As chaos and rumors of war swirl within the region, some Iranians laid down a massive image of our great unifier, Ricky Gervais. Experts are now taking notice that, following his monologue…
As Tensions Calm, French Army Asks Trump if He Needs Any Help With the Terrorists
Now that tensions between America and Iran seem to be de-escalating, the French Army has formally asked President Trump if he needs any help with the terrorists. “Bonjour Monsieur Trump, asistaunce with du boom boom?” The official communication from the French army read. President Trump was simultaneously confused and furious. He contacted French officials over…