TALLAHASSEE, FL—Ron DeSantis’ ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, more commonly known as the ‘You Say Gay To Our Young And We Will Spray With Our Gun,’ bill went into effect this week, and enforcement is off to a robust start.  Teachers claim the bill makes for a tense and uncomfortable teaching environment, while the police who…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It was quite a scene on Saturday as Jen Psaki spun so hard for her boss she briefly transformed into the Tasmanian Devil. “You guys, c’mon. The president said Putin could invade some of Alaska, not all of it. And that’s actually a great thing because—” Psaki said before violently spinning in circles and eventually…

WASHINGTON, D.C. –Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg has placed a moratorium on viewing any of Pixar’s popular Cars films until the gas price surge is over. “When President Biden asked me to be his Secretary of Transportation, I told him, ‘you had me at secretary’,” Buttigieg told MSNBC’s little-known Sunday show, Face The Gaytion. “Biden wanted…

It was a disappointing day for the Bidens after all major corporations announced they would cease business with anyone associated with the Ku Klux Klan.  And, as no one knows, Biden gave the eulogy of the late Senator Robert Byrd, a former Klan leader.  After Byrd excelled as a recruiter over at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car, the Klan…

Yikes.  It looks like, for the second time this month, another potato company is in big trouble.  On Monday morning, over fifty grocery store chains have canceled their contract with Lay’s Potato Chips after a horrific racial slur was spotted on one of their bags.  It is a long-standing rule that the Glorious American not…