SACRAMENTO, CA– At long last, Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsom have received word Satan himself will be moving from Hell to the state of California. For years, politicians begged the Prince of Darkness to move to California but were repeatedly told Satan could still see a sliver of difference between Hell and The Golden State. …
Category: U.S. News
Santa To Just Use Democrat Voter Rolls For Naughty List
NORTH POLE— Valuable time has been shaved off Santa Claus’ schedule as he opted just to use the Democrat voter rolls as his naughty list. “We got down to the E’s, and Santa got this feeling,” an elf said. “He felt all these naughty kids had something in common. He demanded we cross-reference our list…
Santa Claus: ‘Anyone Who Still Believes In January 6th Needs To Grow The F--- Up'
NORTH POLE — When it comes to the so-called “insurrection,” most adults have clearly seen the footage of police and FBI agents signaling protestors into the Capitol building like a third-base coach waving the runner home. But as silly as it seems, there are actually still Americans who believe in January 6th. And Santa Claus has no…
Top 10 Woke Christmas Cards You Won't Believe
We enjoyed compiling the 10 most progressive Christmas cards. But like the vaccine, we cannot fully enjoy them unless you do too. So here we go: __________________________________ #10: Many people use December 25th as a holiday all its own. But Danielle Collins of Nashville is using the date to warn us that the dreaded insurrection…
Violent Antifa Members Vow To Boycott Any State That Requires Voter I.D. Laws
ATLANTA, GA — If state lawmakers aren’t careful, they might soon drive away their local Antifa chapter. The leadership of the group has announced their intention to completely boycott any state that requires I.D.s for voting. “We get one sniff of that uncivilized restriction, and we’ll pack up our stuff and leave,” an Antifa leader…