WASHINGTON-DC — The FBI has announced the Biden laptop contains a little-known episode of Shark Tank, which features Hunter pitching his father’s influence. In the footage, Hunter Biden approaches the sharks as the dramatic music plays. “Sharks, close your eyes and imagine this everyday scenario,” he instructed. “You’re on a seven-month, cocaine-fueled party yacht off…
Category: Pop Culture
Warner Bros. In Hot Water After Scooby-Doo Caught Saying ‘Rigger’ In Hot Mic
BURBANK, CA— After officially deciding to make Scooby-Doo character Velma a lesbian, Warner Bros. was widely celebrated by wide, unattractive, single women. But after audio of Scooby-Doo calling someone a “rigger” leaked, the praise quickly ended. “We are aware of the clip involving Mr. Doo, and it is our deepest and most sincere desire for…
Dirty Job: Republicans Call Mike Rowe To Investigate Ashley Biden's Diary
WASHINGTON, DC — House Republicans have called upon Mike Rowe, host of the hit TV show “Dirty Jobs,” to investigate the Ashley Biden diary. Rowe, always eager to help blue-collar Americans, agreed to fly to D.C. before hearing the details of his assignment. “I’ve cleaned out septic tanks, handled venomous snakes, and twice hosed down…
San Diego News Team Distances Themselves From ‘Inappropriate’ Don Lemon
SAN DIEGO, CA – Don Lemon is acting inappropriately, and Ron Burgundy’s news team will not tolerate it. The four lead anchors of San Diego’s Channel 4 News are distancing themselves after Lemon remarked that all women should come with an expiration date like milk, ‘so society knows when to throw them out.’ “Son of…
Needing To Kill Russians Without Firing A Shot, Biden Asks Alec Baldwin To Go To Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C.– The White House is sending Alec ‘Hot Shot’ Baldwin to Ukraine after the administration decided they need to conquer Russia, without actually firing a weapon. “Allen! It’s me! Jill’s first lady’s brother, Joe Baldwin!” Biden began his call to the actor. “I need you on the first train to Ukraine! And pack your magic trigger…