BURBANK, CA— After officially deciding to make Scooby-Doo character Velma a lesbian, Warner Bros. was widely celebrated by wide, unattractive, single women. But after audio of Scooby-Doo calling someone a “rigger” leaked, the praise quickly ended.
“We are aware of the clip involving Mr. Doo, and it is our deepest and most sincere desire for everyone to go back to talking about Velma. Remember we made her gay? Can you believe that?” A studio official commented.
In the audio clip, Scooby is not being a good boy and is furious with the personnel running the craft service table.
“Ruh-roh! Rich rigger didn’t replace my Scooby snacks!?” He yells before you hear the crashing sound of him flipping over the table.
Even Shaggy, the cis white male who is Scooby‘s only friend, is distancing himself from the racist dog.
“Like, what Scoob said is my least favorite word. When I heard the tape, I was like, zoinks!” Shaggy said.
Update: Driving the Mystery Machine, Attorney Benjamin Crump arrived at a press conference claiming he had solved the mystery of who said the N-word. Assuming he had captured Scooby-Doo, Crump lifted a sack off the figure’s head, revealing Joe Biden.
Give Us Story Ideas
