BOCA RATON, FL — Per the Geneva Convention, mattress salesman Ben Shapiro is now eligible to say the n-word after his hit rap song ‘FACTS’ topped #1 in the charts. “It appears my trifling ass has done it,” Shapiro told his audience while slowly turning his Yamaka backward. “My emergence into the rap game has…
Category: Pop Culture
Mission Impossible All-Female Remake, 'Nothing: Is Impossible For You, Girl!' Struggles At Box Office
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Paramount Pictures is acknowledging their new, all-female remake of Mission: Impossible, “Nothing: Is Impossible For You, Girl!” is facing unique and difficult-to-predict challenges at the box office. Starring the loveably fit Amy Schumer, Paramount had hopes of putting a new twist on the traditionally masculine action franchise by remaking it into what…
Newsom Orders ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ Be Moved To How-To Section Of Library
SACRAMENTO, CA — Effective immediately, Gavin Newsom has ordered the book How The Grinch Stole Christmas be moved to the how-to section of all California libraries and bookstores. “After reading this instructional manual, the science is clear. This furry, green man has laid out a step-by-step plan we must follow,” Newsom said in a press…
Jimmy Kimmel Accidentally Dresses Up As Obama To Apologize For Blackface
HOLLYWOOD, CA– An unfortunate mistake for Jimmy Kimmel as the late-night host accidentally apologizes for doing blackface as Barrack Obama. Kimmel’s reasoning was simple, an ABC spokesman explained. “Everyone is so mad at Jimmy, and no one’s ever mad at Obama. He figured this would work.” The apology skit featured Kimmel doing a poor impression of Obama…
Rappers Who Once Praised Trump Receive Another 90-Day Extension From Mainstream Media Noticing
ATLANTA, GA– Another extension has been granted to all the rappers who were once friendly towards President Donald Trump. They now have 90 more days before the woke mob comes to destroy their lives. Their lives and assets were originally scheduled to be annihilated on Sunday. However, a DC-area judge accepted the extension request, which…