As Parler continues to take users from Twitter, Jack Dorsey was forced to make a Parler account and beg users to go back to his obsolete platform. Using the handle @EffParler4Realz! Dorsey made his first desperate attempt to stop the bleeding with this post: “Hey guys, isn’t Parler lame and hurting my business? Come follow…
Category: Media & Tech
Sidney Powell Mails Tucker An Actual Kraken To Hold Him Over
The always generous Sidney Powell made a compromise with Tucker Carlson over the weekend. After an impatient Tucker demanded to see evidence of voter fraud before any judges, Powell went ahead and overnighted Carlson an actual Kraken to hold him over. “Finally, the evidence of the most diabolical crime perpetrated upon our once-great nation has…
As Fox News Viewership Dries Up, Nation Becomes Overrun With Unsold My Pillows
If you thought COVID was dangerous, wait until a bunch of fluffy My Pillows slowly avalanche towards your city. But unlike COVID, the pillow thing is actually happening. Currently, the state of Minnesota is being overrun with My Pillows after the sharp collapse of the company’s main advertising source, Fox News. Fox News’ loyal audience…
Joe Biden Appoints Dominion Voting Machines To Handle All Metrics For His Presidency
In a touching ceremony, the media’s selection for President, Joe Biden, announced that the Dominion voting machines would be asked to handle all the metrics for his 25-day long presidency. “Economic numbers, COVID deaths, GDP—this little guy is going to tell me all the numbers we want to hear,” Biden said putting his arm around…
No Evidence Of Widespread Viewership At Fox News Last Week
By now you’ve heard the wild conspiracy theories coming out of Fox News. The hysterical claims about how they racked up a healthy amount of viewers last week. Embarrassing. Hell, they probably also think Joe Biden received more votes than Donald Trump in the 2020 election. While it might be painful for folks over at FNC,…