WASHINGTON, DC – If you listen to the media, you would think Justice Clarence Thomas spent all of last year dismantling Roe Vs. Wade. However, a new report shows that only 3% of Thomas’ year was spent protecting infants. “A whopping 97% of his 2022 was classified as ‘other services.’ These activities are things like…
Category: Law
Handwritten Note Shows FBI’s Internal Debate With Russia Collusion Hoax
WASHINGTON, DC — Newly unsealed FBI records appear to show the agents decided to be ‘corrupt dirty cops’ when interviewing Michael Flynn. The note, which was of the 5th grade-style ‘circle one’ variety, also shows it was Obama’s idea for the agents to be partisan, lawless hacks. “We understand this note makes us look bad,”…
Star Witness Claims Democrats Have Cause to Arrest Trump beCAUSE They Hate Him
MANHATTAN, NY — In what ended up being a groundbreaking indictment, DA Alvin Braggs called regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper, Michael Scott, to testify. It has been rumored that Democrats have been weaponizing the powers of government to harass President Trump without proper cause. Then Michael Scott, fresh off a visit from his favorite…
Uvalde Police Demand To Know Why Gun Control Is Taking So Long To Get Here
UVALDE, TX — Unhappy, wealthy, coastal liberals are waiting and waiting for sweeping gun control laws, and the members of the Uvalde police department are furious with all the inaction. “What on earth is taking them so long! This is outrageous!” Yelled the chief of police at congress. “We pay them to protect us, and they’re just…
Democrats Ask Rescue Rangers To Look Over Mueller Report For More Clues Trump Is Criminal
WASHINGTON, DC — On Monday, New York Democrats brought in Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers to review the Mueller report one last time. “If they can uncover absolutely anything–ANYTHING we may have overlooked, they’d be doing this nation a great service,” Adam Schiff told The Glorious American. “We need to do this for unity. We…