MANHATTAN, NY — In what ended up being a groundbreaking indictment, DA Alvin Braggs called regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper, Michael Scott, to testify.
It has been rumored that Democrats have been weaponizing the powers of government to harass President Trump without proper cause. Then Michael Scott, fresh off a visit from his favorite New York pizza joint, Sbarro’s, approached the bench and changed all that.
“Your Honor, democrats do have cause to arrest President Trump. It’s beCAUSE they hate him!”
As soon as Scott delivered that devastating blow, everyone in the courthouse gasped. The regional manager immediately sprung to his feet, clapped his hands, did a twirl, and pointed at Donald Trump’s lawyers with both hands.
“I told you NOT to do the twirl!” Braggs could be heard whispering angrily to Scott.
“I didn’t!” Scott whispered back. “It was more of a spin, and I nailed it!”
Update: The Supreme Court has decided that Michael Scott’s reasoning is airtight. Many believe that, based on this compelling testimony, Donald Trump will spend his life in prison.
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