FRESNO, CA — A pot from Bed Bath & Beyond was sentenced to eighteen months in federal prison for calling the kettle black, a judge announced on Wednesday. The heated exchange took place on the stove, but the pot’s lawyers argued that everything was heated on the stove. When word that the kettle had been…
Category: Law
Hunter Biden Accidentally Discharges Weapon Through Father’s Gun Control Bill
WASHINGTON, D.C. –Joe Biden’s groundbreaking gun control bill may have been undermined a bit when it was immediately shot up from a gun his son was holding. “With this legislation, we have finally put an end to dangerous and stupid criminals recklessly shooting off their guns,” fictional President Joe Biden said, holding up the bill.…
Hunter Biden's Old Business Card Surfaces, Dooms Defense Team
WASHINGTON, DC — An old business card belonging to Hunter Biden has been discovered and was presented to the Jury. The business name is Daddy Inc., and its slogan has doomed any hope Hunter had of a not-guilty verdict. “Need Something Done? You talk to me, Dad talks to Obama, You give me drug money.”…
Conservative Man Makes Appearance At Pro-Hamas Rally So F.B.I. Will Remove Him From Watch List
NEW YORK, NY – If you want the F.B.I. to zero in on you the way Rosie O’Donnell stares at a Cinnabon, then make a bunch of pro-America and anti-crime social media posts. However, many Americans have learned if you want to get off the F.B.I.’s radar, just embed yourself in pro-terrorism rallies. And that’s…
