WASHINGTON, DC –In yet another embarrassing display of incompetence, the Capitol Police squad accidentally all shot each other while trying to conduct a 21-gun salute during the January 6th special TV event. Apparently, two groups of Capitol Police faced each other and fired their rifles directly forward. Lieutenant Michael Byrd, the man famous for shooting innocent…
Category: Law
Car Jacking Victim Gets FBI To Hunt Down Attacker By Claiming He Was Pro-Life
HAYWARD, CA – After Renee Porter’s 2021 Chevy Malibu was carjacked by a gun-wielding Biden voter, it seemed recovering the vehicle was hopeless. But Renee had a trick up her sleeve. “I told the authorities my attacker was pro-life. I yelled, ‘This bloodthirsty man wasn’t even bloodthirsty for the citizens too young to vote Democrat!’…
Santa Claus: ‘Anyone Who Still Believes In January 6th Needs To Grow The F--- Up'
NORTH POLE — When it comes to the so-called “insurrection,” most adults have clearly seen the footage of police and FBI agents signaling protestors into the Capitol building like a third-base coach waving the runner home. But as silly as it seems, there are actually still Americans who believe in January 6th. And Santa Claus has no…
Biden Orders National Guard To Spread Christmas Cheer By Force
WASHINGTON, DC – Dressed like an elf, a frustrated Karine Jean-Pierre angrily announced that Americans would need to show their government-issued ‘Jolly Passport’ to prove they are filled with the appropriate levels of glee this holiday season. Also, the National Guard dressed in Santa hats will go door-to-door to extract this holiday joy by force.…
Secret Service Starting To Question Hunter Biden’s White House Christmas Decorations
WASHINGTON, DC — We all remember the first family agreeing to let Ukrainian oil and gas expert Hunter Biden decorate the White House over the years. But now, many secret service agents are questioning Hunter’s ‘winter wonderland’ theme. “We’re pretty sure he found a way to store over eight hundred pounds of crack cocaine all…