Children everywhere hope to trim valuable time off their Sunday Easter egg hunt by downloading the new egg-locating GPS edition offered by Waze. “Our innovative egg-finding technology will be a total game-changer,” the popular GPS service told The Glorious American. “This family tradition normally takes 10 to 15 minutes. We think this app can get…
Category: Faith
Highest Level Of Scientology Revealed To Be "House Cat"
A surprising revelation has been uncovered within the world of Scientology. According to a well-placed source with the church, the highest level a Scientologist can reach is “house cat.” “This explains why your average house cat will look at you the way he does,” the source explained. “To the untrained mind, the cat has done…
Church Installs Monitor Showing Dramatic Chipmunk GIF When Pastor Runs Late
Hillsong Valley Church members have forced the elders to install a monitor that will begin showing a loop of the Dramatic Chipmunk GIF when Pastor Stephens’ sermons run late. Last Sunday was the first time the footage was put into action. Reports are that when 11:30am struck and the chipmunk began playing, pastor was visibly…
Local Parents Still Don’t Know 38-Year-Old Son Has Seen Tons Of Simpson’s Episodes
In the 1990’s Cathy and Herb Roberts had one rule for their son Chris. No Simpsons. “That show glorified being flat-out disrespectful to parents!” Cathy said. “Just trash!” added Herb. It’s an all too common story for Christian kids growing up in the 90’s. Chris Roberts remembers those Sunday nights trying to watch even a…
Exclusive: Chubby Bunny Still Being Played In Underground Youth Groups
In recent years, the once popular “chubby bunny” challenge was a staple of American youth groups. The idea of the game is to have a participant stuff as many marshmallows in their mouth as possible. Once your mouth becomes stuffed, the challenge becomes saying the words “chubby bunny”. However, once the game became controversial, most…