This week, Joe Biden made a delightful visit with some Detroit autoworkers. “Go ahead—ask me anything!” Biden said with a grin. “Why do you oppose the second amendment?” a worker asked. “YOU RAT BASTARD!” Joe yelled as he leaped forward to strangle the man. After staffers pulled Biden off the man, he attempted to continue…
Category: Elections
DNC: New Debate Format Will Allow Joe Biden To Sleep In Chair
In a debate format change announced over the weekend, Joe Biden will be allowed to participate while sleeping in a large recliner. The DNC decided on this rule after the former VP made some unforced errors over the weekend. In just the last 36 hours, Joe Biden forgot who he was, endorsed President Trump and…
Sanders Campaign Immediately Hires Brian Williams After Epic Math Fail
After Brian Williams demonstrated such a poor understanding of basic math, officials from the Sanders campaign called NBC News and immediately extended a handsome offer. “I must have him,” Bernie told The Glorious American. “But because we’re in the middle of the campaign we only have $110,000 remaining for staff. So I offered him $640,000,…
Campaign Officials Tell Biden to Yell ‘Comeback Kid!’ Biden Completely Misinterprets
As Biden pulled off a series of major delegate wins, it was clear he was becoming the “comeback kid.” So it made sense that his campaign encouraged him to yell “Comeback kid!” upon his first public appearance. But what started as a great night for Joe Biden, ended with every parent’s nightmare. Unfortunately, Biden woefully…
Bloomberg: ‘My Staff Tells Me My Smile Alone Can Win 42 States’
While speaking with NBC News’ Lester Holt, presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg raised eyebrows when he brazenly said, “People always talk about the money I’m spending on this race, but I have other attributes that no one’s talking about. For example, my staff tells me my smile alone can win 42 states.” Precisely as Bloomberg was…