Have you ever wondered what Joe Biden is saying? Thanks to your friends at the DNC, you’ll now be able to purchase a decoder ring to finally learn what all those bungled sounds and noises actually mean. Unfortunately, the nation will still have to listen to Joe Biden’s attempts to form sentences on debate…
Category: Elections
Andrew Cuomo Overseeing Nation’s Worst COVID-19 Results Makes Him Clear Nomination Front Runner
Per DNC rules, the member who is screwing up things the most will be the party’s leader. This means that as New York’s dreadful, coronavirus results pour in, Governor Andrew Cuomo has catapulted into Democrats’ number one choice for president. “Wow, I’m absolutely honored,” Cuomo said in a gigantic ceremony while his state dissolved into…
Joe Biden Accidentally Wastes Beautifully Articulate Speech On House Cat
Because Joe Biden continues to struggle forming a complete sentence, Wednesday morning was a breath of fresh air as he gave the most beautifully articulate speech of his life. Unfortunately, his only audience was Boots, the Biden house cat. Biden was instructed to walk into his library and deliver his address into the camera’s red…
Another Gaffe? Biden Addresses National Crisis While Eating A Bat Sandwich
While speaking at a picnic in Ohio concerning our nation’s health crisis, Joe Biden appeared to pull out a large ‘bat sandwich’ from his basket. As the crowd shrieked in horror, the former VP sniffed the sandwich and smacked his lips in anticipation. “Oh, for crying out loud. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before!” he…