POLAND –Unfortunately for Democrats, the nickname ‘Sloppy Joe’ is catching on as many suspect the president had another accident in his pants. This time while in Ukraine, handing blank checks to Zelenskyy. “Ya know what?” Joe yelled to his handlers while wrapping a sweatshirt around his waist. “Why don’t you go on ahead without me? I wanna uhhh.…
Category: Biden
Biden Says Surprise Retaliation On Russia To Take Place Tomorrow At 1800 From The North
WASHINGTON, D.C.– Fictional President Joe Biden announced to the world that a surprise retaliation on Russia will be tomorrow at 1800 sharp. “Their dog-faced pony soldiers will have no idea it’s coming,” Biden sternly told the nation. “My generals have suggested we have our most transgendered, vaccinated platoon invade from the north. Each soldier will be dressed…
Joe Biden On Global Collapse: ‘Things Would Be Different If I Were In Charge’
After accidentally waging a war on US citizens and using the military to comb the globe to search for more genders, the world has seemingly disintegrated in Joe Biden’s first term. Meanwhile, lying in the ball pit of a McDonald’s near Camp David, Joe Biden lamented the global collapse. “Things would be different if I were…
Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’
SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola, LaTinks, and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…
Feds Warn More Eerie UFO News Could Drop If Further Biden Crimes Exposed
WASHINGTON, DC – Federal officials acknowledge a mysterious link between whistleblowers proving Joe Biden’s crimes and UFO sightings, John Kirby informed Monday. Kirby, famous for making a super-serious face to compensate for his ridiculous last name, grew frustrated at the press for overlooking the recent other-worldly sightings. “Sir, we have 4K footage of a father/son…